How DO we end GBV?
How DO we end GBV?
I spent some time today with an awesome team of humans at The Conscious Combat Club’s fundraising event called #rounds4respect – an annual (now) event to raise money and awareness in the middle of the 16 Days of Activism Against GBV where teams of martial artists complete 1 round (lasting 2 minutes) of jiu jitsu, wrestling or kickboxing for everyone woman killed in Australia this year. Last weekend, that was 86 rounds. Today though it was 92. Because in a little over a week 6 more women have lost their lives at the hands of men in this country.
Whilst the circumstances around these women’s deaths are different, their lives were all taken by men. Overwhelmingly, men who kill women are either their current (or past) intimate partner, or by members of their family. To quote a line by Debra Francis-White (The Guilty Feminist) I am not anti-men, some of my favourite humans happen to be men, so please don’t read this as an attack on men. And for sure, ‘not all men’ kill women. But having looked around the gym today at the over 100 people who gave up their time and sweat for this awesome event most of the people there were women. And as Sheryl Moody so articulately said in the ‘team huddle’ before everyone (not me – I was a volunteer for the day) got their sweat on, it’s women who are doing most of the heavy lifting around GBV, supporting victim-survivors, pushing and advocating for change. And they have been doing it relentlessly. For decades.
What is Gender-Based Violence?
It’s important to understand the definitions because if we aren’t clear about them, how do we know when it’s happening to us? Or when to get help? And for those of us researching in this space how best to create effective programs and interventions that support victim-survivors? IPV doesn’t have to involve physical violence / abuse. According to the World Health Organization (1), IPV refers to any behaviour within an intimate relationship that causes sexual, psychological or physical harm and can include:
- Sexual coercion / rape
- Psychological / emotional abuse
- Acts of physical aggression
- Financial abuse
- Coercively controlling behaviours
It covers current and former spouses / partners and doesn’t have to occur within the home – which is why I prefer the term IPV over ‘domestic violence’. Language matters. Naming abusive behaviour matters. Calling out abusive behaviour matters.
How do we end GBV?
‘Primary prevention’ is the term we use when we are talking about ending the drivers that lead to GBV, and that ultimately lead to women being killed because that is the pointy end of things. Of course that needs to end but what we typically see is an increase in attention (media coverage) and maybe political support (funding) when there’s public outrage and a focus on this public health ‘crisis’ that has been at crisis-point for too long. But the focus keeps going onto how to help women. Which don’t get me wrong, we absolutely need to help women. However, if we are going to end violence against women and girls we need to focus our collective attention at the bottom of the pyramid – change comes when as a society we shift our attitudes and beliefs around gender, women, equality and diversity. Think about it this way: if we explored this issue as if it was a discussion about robbery, it’s like all the focus and attention is on the person / people who have been robbed, not on the people doing the robbing.
Women’s lives would be less expendable if women were treated equitably, fairly and were valued every bit as much as men are. And that means having difficult conversations with men and for men to start having difficult conversations with other men. Men have to be part of the solution. Women need to be paid equally for paid work and men need to take on an equitable share of the non-paid work in society that women have typically fulfilled (often in addition to paid work). Sexist jokes need to stop. Women don’t need to hear your thoughts about their bodies in public – in fact maybe stop objectifying women full stop. If you hear a mate, make a ‘joke’ – let’s be honest it’s NOT A JOKE – about raping women maybe call that out. If you have a mate who isn’t kind to their female partner maybe talk to him about it. We need to talk about what respectful, consensual relationships look and feel like. We need to have non-judgemental, open conversations and we all need to be willing to learn and take responsibility for our part in this situation. No excuses.
I’m going to be sharing my thoughts, calls to action and ideas around how we can all do more to support this initiative. I will continue to be noisy about this issue and encourage you all to do the same – I am not free until you are free.
If you’d like to explore your mental health and would like a space to talk about how you’re feeling, please get in touch with us: www.theabaker.com.au / hello@theabaker.com.au / 03 9077 8194.
References:
- World Health Organization (2024) Available at: URL.(Data sourced from https://whv.org.au/)