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Forming and maintaining healthy habits

Forming and maintaining healthy habits

A few years back it was seen as somewhat problematic to be a ‘creature of habit’ – like somehow you might not cope if your routine was thrown off or you were boring and predictable. Maybe it came with a perception of rigid boundaries (see last week’s blog HERE) and an inflexible personality. Now though, there’s an appreciation that whilst there’s no one-size fits all for doing ‘human’ well, routines can have important and beneficial psychological implications, particularly for people who are struggling to with anxiety, stress, insomnia, depression and ADHD.  Routines provide us with a sense of rhythm and certainty – some semblance or predictability and control for our inner and outer uncertain world’s.

The other thing about developing routines is that we don’t have to worry, think or plan them.  Once the situation and / or behaviour is familiar (habitual) the outcome becomes safe, calm and predictable.  It’s something we don’t have to give too much energy to, and we can do it reasonably well.  Developing a sense of mastery over even the simplest things (like going for a daily walk) can have profound benefits for our mental health.  When we extend those habits or routines to things like what we regularly wear (think Steve Jobs and his black rollneck) there’s an argument that the automation of these behaviours can free up the mental resources for the more demanding or complex undertaking that adulting requires.  This, it is argued, allows for greater creativity in other more exciting parts of life.

However, when held too rigidly, routines can become self-imposed prisons.  For some it can be the beginning of obsessive behaviours or compulsions, where certain behaviours are bonded with safety against our worst fears eventuating.  This is also true of some eating disorders.  In other situations, we don’t want the performance or outcomes of our routines to become attached to our sense of self-worth.  As with many other things that we talk about in session, the goal here is ‘psychological flexibility’, which is the capacity to cope or respond in more ways than one.

Now, I’ve always loved a routine.  Or at least routine has been a big part of my life since I was 10 years old, and I started boarding school.  In boarding schools, the staff (in my case a mixture of housemistresses and matrons) make sure pretty much every minute of your day from when they wake up in the morning until ‘light’s out’ at bedtime is timetabled for something.  We had very little ‘free time’.  The thinking was, we’d have less time to be sad and homesick if we were busy (and therefore easier to handle because we wouldn’t be crying!).  And they were right…to a point (I was very homesick and cried A LOT). So, after six years of this very structured life, routine just kind of stuck for me, the difference was that after boarding school I learned to create my own because it made me feel better (‘safer’).  Since then, I’ve adopted different sorts of routines or habits at different times – there was the one where I swam every day as part of my training when I was part of a swimming team/club, the morning mediation and journaling phase (that one stopped when I kept falling asleep while I was meditating), and more recently I have created what I refer to as my ‘healthy habits’.

My ‘healthy habits’ are a collection of things that fit that support my overall health and wellbeing.  For context my current healthy habits include:

  • Water – I aim to drink my entire drink bottle while I’m at work during the day, plus a glass of water in the morning and at least one at night (you’ll see that’s not a specific measurement because I find that too restrictive).
  • ‘Greens, grains & protein’ – I try to eat a varied (all the colours of the rainbow actually, not just green) diet with as many plants as I can squeeze in (I’m a bit obsessed about the role of a healthy gut microbiome), including some fermented things (this has been something I’ve had to work hard at), try to eat wholegrains and really focus on my protein intake.
  • Intentional daily movement – (some might say exercise but I find that a bit restrictive and makes it feel like ‘hard work’ on days when I just don’t have that in me) and it doesn’t come with any rules – if I’ve got lots of energy it might be a run or a swim, but it might be a walk, a yoga class or if my brain can handle it, a reformer Pilates class. The only thing is for me to intentionally move my body every single day.
  • Reading – I read A LOT as part of my practice work, and my research for he my PhD but I really love to read novels as I find it’s a great way for me to switch my brain off at the end of the day before I go to sleep. So every night I make sure I get into bed with enough time and energy to read a little of my current novel.  Sometimes it’s all I can do to finish one page before I start to fall asleep, other nights I have to make myself turn off the light.
  • Mindful practice – I am super flexi with this one but I try to connect it to my movement of the day. So if I’m walking / running I try to pay attention to nature, to be present with the sensations in my body…when I swim this is a bit more like a breathwork / counting practice because I’m very attentive to my breath, stroke and I’m always counting (laps, breaths, strokes you name it, I’m counting it), and if I’m going yoga I have been working really hard to stay present on my mat.

Remember there’s no one-size fit all method to this – it’s about figuring out what the things are that might start supporting your own health and wellbeing.

You’ll see I’m intentionally loose with my habits – collectively they help the whole of me be as well as possible, but I know I can get super obsessive or bored if I keep doing the same thing.  The most important thing for me is to be consistent so I do whatever I can to support that.  If you notice that you’re reacting poorly when you can’t complete your usual habit / routine, you could try:

  • Taking a break from your routine and be curious about how easy / difficult it feels for you
  • Create a new one! (I’m a big fan of this because I can get bored after a while.) Still explore the meaning behind the behaviour so that it aligns with your purpose and / or values (it’s meaningful for you) but switch things up a bit
  • Acknowledge the tension in the relationship you have with your routine and explore this – might be good to talk through with a good friend / family member or a therapist to try to help you restore some balance

 

If you’d like help with navigating your own healthy habits, please reach out to us at Thea Baker Wellbeing: hello@theabaker.com.au / 03 9077 8194.