Managing your Window of Tolerance – Part 1
We’ve spent the last few weeks looking at some of the basic concepts around emotional regulation and within that the idea of our ‘Window of Tolerance’. As a bit of a recap, the window of tolerance is the zone where big emotions can be processed in a healthy way, allowing us to function and react to stress, anxiety, and fear effectively.
My favourite resources: July – September 2022
FULL DISCLOSURE: As I’m writing this week’s blog, it’s the first day off I’ve had since the last time I wrote a review of all the things I’ve been consuming. Because I’ve spent the last 12 weeks thigh-deep in research getting (another) thesis written I’m just flagging that I’ve probably read / listened / watched less than I usually do because so much of my time has been spent researching mediation studies looking at physical activity and depression and trust me, you don’t want to be reading all those research papers!
Emotional regulation skills – the practical edition
Last week we introduced some of the basic concepts around emotional regulation and within that the idea of our ‘Window of Tolerance’. As a bit of a recap, the window of tolerance is the zone where big emotions can be processed in a healthy way, allowing us to function and react to stress, anxiety, and fear effectively.
Emotional regulation skills
One of the challenges of adulting is that we’re expected to be able to manage our own emotions in a manner that is considered socially acceptable. Sometimes that is really hard, especially when we’re trying to navigate really big emotions like anxiety and anger, or in the midst of really triggering environments or situations. When our emotion-management system fails we might say or do things that we later regret, and the outcome might be damage to personal relationships or affect how we’re perceived in a professional (workplace) capacity. Over time, if we don’t work at improving our emotional regulation skills it can negatively impact our personal wellbeing and social relationships.
Things your therapist wants you to know:
Rocking up to therapy – especially for the very first time – can be super weird. Even if you know you’ve gotten to the point that you know that going to therapy is something you really need to do, it’s very common to feel nervous about actually attending the first few times. And, if you’ve never been before it can be hard to know what to expect. So, here’s a rundown of a few things that might be helpful to know about therapy:
What you need to know about acceptance
Gah!
Acceptance is one of those words! You know the ones. The sort of word that you kind of shy away from because it conjures up so much ‘ick’ that you feel compelled to run away from it really quickly. Actually, it’s probably more accurate to say that acceptance is a concept. And honestly as a concept it’s something that I’ve spent an awful lot of time getting to grips with both personally and professionally. A couple of years ago now, acceptance was my word for the year, and I spent 12 whole months trying to make friends with the idea of it. And this week I have spent quite a lot of my time in session talking to clients about acceptance so I figured it was something that needed writing about.
Mental health myths
One of the biggest reasons I do the work that I do, and in the way that I do it, is because I feel so strongly about the taboos and myths that surround mental health. I’m highly motivated to restore some of the balance and inequity around the way that mental health is explored, managed, and treated as compared to physical health. Ultimately, I believe that we are, by our human nature, WHOLE and our health should be considered through that lens too!
Connectedness
Without going full-nerd and explaining in lengthy detail the research I’m doing at the moment at Deakin University into some of the mechanisms that might explain the relationship between physical activity and depression, I was struck by one of the possible mediators – the social context of physical activity – and it gave me a little bit of inspiration for this week’s blog. Another way of looking at it, is that the connectedness that comes from doing physical activity with other people may play a very important part in improving depressive symptoms in people engaging in exercise (as opposed to just the benefit of doing the exercise itself). Which makes me think about how important being connected to others is for us humans.
Pesky negative beliefs
This is the third blog in a little series looking at the three ‘compass points’ that we work from when we’re exploring and then processing trauma. As a quick recap, we’re talking about thoughts (this is more about the meaning or beliefs we have about ourselves, other people or the world around us as a result of certain events or experiences), physical sensations and feelings (or emotions). This week I’m looking at the way that our busy brains work to create all the complex thoughts that can trip us up when they become entrenched negative core beliefs.
What is your body trying to tell you?
A couple of weeks ago (before I got distracted by Birth Trauma Awareness week) I’d started a little series looking at the three ‘compass points’ that we work from when we’re exploring and then processing trauma. As a quick recap, we’re talking about thoughts (this is more about the meaning or beliefs we have about ourselves, other people or the world around us as a result of certain events or experiences), physical sensations and feelings (or emotions). This week I’m looking at the body and all the incredible insights we can glean from the messages it sends us.