The change process, the coaching journey…whatever you want to call what we do as I walk alongside you, is a tricky balancing-act. I’m going to be totally honest with you. Sometimes it gets messy. Emotionally challenging. We get into a whole bunch of stuff that sometimes we’d probably rather ignore, or at least pretend aren’t part of the puzzle.
ACT – Action Changes Things
You know how I have been saying for the last few weeks that change is hard? And that it works best when there’s a method in there somewhere? And most importantly of all, that once all the foundations have been laid with regards to values, visions and intentions then the magic only really happens when there’s action?
Intentions not goals
In my old corporate HR world I was all about my ‘five-year plan’ and having a set of very clear goals to work towards. I’ve even used goals A LOT in my Personal Training business – both personally and with my clients. If you’ve ever joined a gym you’ll be used to being asked what your fitness goals are. One of Nike’s adverts:
I’ve had this one in me for a fair few months now.
It’s been going round and round, percolating if you like. And I think it’s been particularly slow in the writing because it’s quite literally something that I’ve been really challenged by personally since all of the woo-ha last year.
If you’ve read anything I’ve written you’ll know it always comes straight from my heart. Every time I put fingers to keyboard or pen to paper (I still love writing the old-fashioned way) it’s a mixture of information sharing, motivational message and therapy (for me)! Sometimes it feels like I almost give birth to the pieces I write, and that’s why I think it sometimes takes a while for posts to come, the words and thoughts have to brew for a while in my over thinking mind. I’m always brutally honest and I often over-share, and this one is no different.
I recently shared an article that I have had published on Tiny Buddha where I talk about what it was like to be married to an emotionally abusive man.
Some of you already know what happened, and it has taken many months of coming to terms with how I ended up in that place, never mind actually find a way to verbalise it and begin sharing it. Shame, embarrassment and just really not knowing how to start that difficult conversation meant that I suffered in silence for the almost three years of our relationship. I have learned that the silence is all part of the abuse cycle, and by continuing to remain silent meant I was enabling the pain to continue.
This one isn’t about muscles, lifting weights or flipping tyres.
I think I’m probably physically a little bit stronger than the average nearly-40 year old woman. Actually, maybe a bit more than that but as a Personal Trainer you’d hope that was the case! I do push-ups on my toes, really quite enjoy burpees, and love the part of the gym where all the buff blokes hang out grunting over the squat rack. But like I said this one isn’t about being physically strong.
One of the most important muscles you have isn’t exactly a muscle.
I posted on Facebook today about Sheryl Sandberg’s recent speech to Berkeley University students a couple of days about where she spoke for the first time publicly about her husband’s sudden death a little over 12 months ago. She spoke of her grief, how those dark early days are now a blur to her and how it sucks sometimes being a single mum. ‘Leaning-In’, she now admits, is a whole lot harder when you don’t have a significant other in your corner, helping and supporting you at home.