Whether we are literally looking at our physical reflection in the mirror or reflecting on our emotional health either way it’s not always an easy or comfortable experience.
Looking at our body reflected back at us all to often results in a myopic focus on our worst parts. We struggle to see ourselves in our whole and beautiful entirety. I am automatically drawn to my thighs, my cellulite and left-over-baby-tummy. I see my breasts that have seen better days and probably wouldn’t pass the pencil test any more. I don’t see my strong swimmer’s shoulders, developed back muscles or my defined waist.
Looking at ourselves in an emotional mirror isn’t something we do easily either and often requires someone to hold that mirror up to us and challenge us as to what we really see.
Either way requires honesty – from ourselves and from others too.
For someone to hold that metaphorical mirror up to us requires a gentle hand and whole lot of love. It also requires a brave heart… it tends to get pretty messy!
I have been fortunate enough to have someone help me to do this recently. Andy has challenged me to see, to analyse and to move on. He has oh so carefully helped me to understand and view my choices and circumstances without judgement and he has done it with incredible patience and understanding.
I was pretty lost and I needed someone to help me see the way ahead. I was confused and what I needed most was honesty.
“It is an absolute human certainty that no one can know his own beauty or perceive a sense of his own worth until it has been reflected back to him in the mirror of another loving, caring human being.”
― John Joseph Powell, The Secret of Staying in Love
We need people around us who love us, absolutely. But that loves needs to be founded and grounded in honesty. We need people to treat us with integrity. If we are in relationships or circumstances where that isn’t the case, we need to run! Quite literally run in the opposite direction and get out and fast. We need to be held accountable, not to be held to account.
In helping me to see my recent marriage with clarity Andy has helped me to find my voice again, find my focus and trust in my abilities again – in my ability to read people, my ability to choose and my ability to love and be loved in return. He longs for me to be the best that I can be, to achieve great things and to always strive for better. But he keeps me real and isn’t afraid to pull out that mirror whenever I need a reality check.